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Typical Comments:
"This is the best seminar I've ever been to."
"There is no finer recipe for waffles."
"Received more useful, down-to-earth information and helpful aids from this seminar than from any other seminar in the whole world."
"Thoroughly enjoyed the seminar."
" I lost 40 pounds."
"My wig is now barely noticeable."
"I can't believe how things are going so much better."
"I am leaving this seminar proud to be a secretary."
"One of the best decisions I ever made."
"Can anybody find my sunglasses?"
"You have solved all my problems."
"I am now a happy man."

Key Questions That We'll Answer
"If 'yes', where?"
"Which mutual funds are contraindicated by rain?"
"Do you know why it was a hard day?"
"If not now, why me?"
"Are you planning to move in the next six months?"
"What can I do to convince you to put down that shoe polish?" "Aren't you that guy on the subway?"
"Are you looking for a job anywhere else?"
"If you were ever really going on about it, or was it that other thing?"
"In general, did you think more or less after the chicken?"

Our seminars are legend, having roots in ancient cultures and antique cigar boxes. Wear comfortable clothing, preferably Armani, and we might take you bowling.
Paraleiptic Audio Analysis seminars require small plastic forks to assist in "tuning" participants to various creative frequencies. Please affix your fork carefully to your instrument before class begins, and try not to injure your neighbor. Trade forks from time to time with the other participants in the class, inhaling deeply before you change frequencies. Kenneth can help you with the frequency.
Commonly Asked Questions
About Paraleiptic Study

"What are its cross-political capabilities?"
"What are its ethical boundaries?"
"What are its cultural ambiguities?"
"Where are my keys?"
"How much laundry soap is optimal?"
"Is a paraleiptic environment bad for my health?"
"What should I wear?"

Forthcoming Events

Dyed norwegian cognac fox hunt
Dream workshop with elbow-length white gloves.
Submarine tour and deep sea fishing
Random egg hunts through deep, crisp snow.
Honeymoon and other specials not normally included in the regular room rates. See your travel agent for details
Unexpected vulnerability in brilliant color on ice, skates included.

Instant Paraleiptronic Sonographs

--free to all participants. The paraleiptically oriented are often philosophically infirm. We recommend reading. Lots of reading. Any reading. And playing music, playing in the richest and most archaic sense of the word. Just as if you knew how.

Keep Your Donations Coming

All street musicians are official representatives of paraleiptic science, and authorized to accept generous donations from you or your business community on our behalf.
-- Northern California Paraleiptologic Association
Berkeley Paraleiptic Institute
1970 San Pablo Ave #4
Berkeley, California 94702
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