http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvI-xwacKwM

why do all these songwriters
do nothing but whine
they can't figure out
how to have a good time
they're depressed and they're lonely
and tired* and sad
and they can't figure out
why their songs are so bad

Chorus: you can see the rhyme coming
from ten miles away
every thought that they got
they just go on and say
'til you just want to shoot yourself
right in the head
I hate them songwriters
and I wish they were dead

the morning, the evening
the middle of the day
they got a new song
that they just gotta play
and if you're not careful
your life can depend
on getting away from
a song that don't end (chorus)

I hope when I die
that there's nowhere to go
'cause the songs up in heaven
I already know
if I slide past the gates
it'll be a hard sell
if there's songwriters there
then just send me to hell (chorus)

(bonus verses)

if they kill the songwriters
it'll be a fine thing
and trust me there still would be
plenty to sing
back of cereal boxes
and phone books ain't tough
especially compared to this
songwriter stuff (chorus)

if you're a songwriter
I'm sorry for you
but it just ain't my fault that
you got nothing new
go ahead spit it out
if you got stuff to say
but promise me after
that you'll go away (chorus)

* “f-ed up works really well here if you have an age-appropriate crowd

Disclaimer: I'm not only a songwriter, I substitute teach songwriting at the Freight & Salvage from time to time and it is not the nightmare I make it out to be here. It's actually a rocking hot time with really talented people and I ought to be shot for writing this.

– Carol Denney

(…you think that it's over
but you are so wrong
a songwriter never
lets go of a song
you're getting so tired
but there's no end in sight
count yourself lucky

if it ends tonight (walk offstage singing chorus))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvI-xwacKwM

Carol Denney is a community activist, musician, and bike commuter.